The STAR Class Goals & Objectives

The STAR Class: Goals and Objectives

The days surrounding a death can be a confusing and disorienting time for young children. Altered daily routines and unfamiliar sights and sounds can be difficult for them to understand and cope with. Children notice even the most subtle changes in their routines and surroundings.

The STAR Class contains words and images that are not usually a part of everyday conversation for children or adults. Providing children with the opportunity to hear the words of the funeral process, to express feelings and concerns in a creative art activity, and to write a STAR message to their loved one who has died can give them a sense of power over this new experience and help allay fears about the funeral process.

The class is introduced at the time arrangements are made and is held during the private family viewing time before the visitation or wake. The STAR class takes about 30 minutes. This allows adult family members an opportunity to view for the first time without children present and to make final preparations of the visitation room. At the same time it prepares the children for what they may see, hear, and experience when they approach the casket for the first time.

The children are then escorted to the visitation room and gather at the casket where they are joined by their parents and other relatives. The adults watch in awe as each child "chooses" to approach the casket, place his or her STAR message in with the deceased, and touch the hand of their loved one who died.

The goals and objectives of The STAR Class are:

To educate future generations on the benefits of a funeral service.
To prepare children for the visitation and funeral process.
To familiarize children with the "language" of the funeral experience.
To provide the opportunity to view photos of the funeral "equipment" before experiencing these things first-hand.
To provide a creative outlet through a craft activity to express feelings and concerns about their loved one who has died.
To facilitate a discussion of their observations and perceptions surrounding the death.
To offer grief support by the class facilitator as well as peer support within the group.
To provide private time for adult family members to view and make final preparations of the visitation room.
To allow children an opportunity to express final thoughts or feelings to the deceased with a STAR message.

Testimonials

"A Special Time to Always Remember is one of the most marvelous, compassionate approaches I have ever experienced in helping children cope through their loss. This groundbreaking creation cannot be recommended too highly." - Rabbi Earl A. Grollman, D.H.L. ; D.D. author of Bereaved Children and Teens.

"We just finished our 3rd STAR class and it went great! I just saw a 3 1/2 year old boy give Marlene (STAR teacher) a big hug! Every class is going to be a learning experience and in time will likely get better. You have done such a great job developing the STAR program! All of funeral service should thank you." - Brian Strike, Funeral Director.

“What a wonderful thing you are doing! This type of class for kids is so needed. We just didn’t know what to say. We weren’t even sure if we would have the children attend the funeral. We are so glad we did. God bless you.” - Mother of Brandon, age 3, and Sarah, age 8.

“Even though I can’t talk to my grandma on the phone anymore, I can talk to her in my heart any time.” - Alexi, age 4.

More testimonials, stories, and kids comments